


Appropriation

by Ononymous



Series: Christmas 2019 Stories and Requests [10]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Andrew Lloyd Webber References, Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22119178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: You know how it is, you're working on something that seems like a really solid idea, when a real life event colours the context of it and it ends up in an awkward predicament. And when your something involves creatures you had no idea could even exist...
Series: Christmas 2019 Stories and Requests [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1580731
Kudos: 8





	Appropriation

"..."

"..."

The two felines found refuge in the booth at Grillby's. Trying to find solid footing for themselves. Their food had arrived a good twenty minutes ago, but was left untouched. It would stay warm for as long as they needed it too, however. Grillby had a knack for that.

"..."

"Like... Like..."

Absent her partner in crime, Catty's futile efforts at beginning a conversation cascaded helplessly from her mouth to the void. Not used to speaking without being spoken to, all Burgerpants could do was take the occasional drag from his cigarette. Any ability either of them had to emote with other appendages was in complete shutdown. Ears drooping hopelessly, tails limp. Neither were sure whether this was to process the experience, or to blot it out.

"But, like... When they... y'know, like..."

"...yyyyyup."

This cognitive logjam had a knock on effect on the entire restaurant, as Grillby found it harder than usual to clear a table for new arrivals, having one less than usual to deal with. He was just on the verge of descending from the bar to investigate who was holding things up, when two people arrived to help clear things up on their own.

"Like, there you are!"

Catty looked over to the voice, and her ears finally regained life. "Omigosh, Bratty! I haven't seen you, like, all day!"

"Hello there. You're looking great today!"

It was Burgerpants' turn to look over at this voice, and he perked up in a similar way. "Hey there, buddy."

The alligator and blue bunny sidled their way into the booth alongside their fellow shopkeeps. Grillby came over and took their orders for coffee.

"So what have you been up to all day?" asked the bunny. "I finished early today and wanted to see if you wanted a leftover nice cream, and then I bumped into Bratty and then she told me she was looking for Catty."

"Omigosh," said Bratty, "were you too, like, on a date?"

"Whaaaat?! No way!", cried Catty. We just... just..." Her ebullience drained away as she returned to lingering on it.

"I just thought..." began Burgerpants, but failed to return to those memories. A blue hand rested on his, full of concern.

"Whatever happened, you can tell us. We'll help you."

Burgerpants looked into his eager eyes. It filled him with determination.

"I was watchin' TV, buddies," he began. "Nothing specific, just channel surfing. Trying to get a feel for the acting techniques humans use regularly, so I can adjust my resume properly before firing off my headshots."

"Great," said the Bunny, "you're working on self-improvement!"

"I guess. And then in a split second I saw an ad for a... a movie."

"Really?" said Bratty. "Like, what was it called?"

"... _Cats_ ," said Catty.

" _Cats_ ," repeated Burgerpants. "I was a little curious, so I looked it up. Based on a long-running stage musical."

"Oh, I think I heard of that!" chirped Bratty. "Like, its creator made a ton of musicals, one about a guy in a really fashionable coat, another one that must be a celebrity because they talked about him being a Superstar, one about ghosts at the opera, and I think one about a soccer game?"

"Yeah, that guy," said Burgerpants, taking a dose of nicotine to steady himself. "And the humans really like some of its songs, so I got to thinking. Why not check it out? Might give me ideas for getting onto the stage, mightn't it? Can't aim straight for the silver screen, especially when you don't look like any part they may conceive of."

"Makes sense." The bunny was nodding his head in thought.

"So I'm looking up tickets. Cinema next town over has a two-for-one deal going on. I'm not spending any more money if I go myself, but hell, that deal gets its claws in me. So I text Catty."

"And I was, like, 'Sure, sounds like fun'!"

"Catty?" The lipstick on the end of Bratty's maw pursed. "I, like, thought you'd have gone with him," she pointed at the bunny, "or heck, get two sets and we could all see it together. What's up with that?"

The two felines too a moment to gather their thoughts.

"Like," Catty said, "other monsters and stuff could watch it. But, y'know. ' _Cats_ '. It's totally in the name."

"Yeah," said Burgerpants, "felt like, other phyla just wouldn't get it. We decided to examine it from a purely feline perspective, an' then we could maybe see it with others."

"And, l-like, it's a good thing we did," said Catty, her optimism faltering. "Because... b-because..."

Catty found herself in a scaly hug. Meanwhile the blue hand around Burgerpants' squeezed it in comfort.

"Was it really that bad?" asked the bunny.

"Bad?" A lump of ash fell from his cigarette, before vanishing much like monster food does. "Buddy, how can I call it bad if I have no idea what the hell is going on?!"

The question had been asked sincerely, but it was doomed to end up rhetorical. Eight eyes looked in every direction, mostly each other, but the ceiling and floor and windows didn't go neglected in this yearning for purpose.

"So, like..." ventured Bratty. "It's an arthouse movie or something?"

"What would you think," Burgerpants asked the Bunny, "if I decided to shave off all the fur of my face, paint the skin underneath the same colour as my fur, then keep breakin' my nose until it bulges out like a human's does?"

"Oh. W-well, that would be... unusual."

"They're all like that. And what if I wore a coat that looked like my fur _over_ my clothes, and took the coat off so it looked like I was skinnin' myself?"

"And, like, why were their knives and forks so big?"

"An' if you think me with a human-ish face would be 'unusual', try a mouse. Or a cockroach."

Distaste inexorably crept along all four faces at the concept, two from memory and two from their imagination.

"Okay, so it looked weird," said Bratty, clinging to optimism, "but did the story have any hype to it?"

"...the people in it had hype for it," said Burgerpants, "but again, I hadn't a clue what the deal was. Everyone sang who they were and one of them got to go on a balloon..."

"Um, I think that, like, that was a metaphor for heaven?"

Outright distress appear on Burgerpants' face. "You mean they were happy they get to die?" Another question doomed to default rhetorical status.

"Well, like, was the music any good?"

"Oh, a couple. If I'd been listening to them on the radio... but not now."

The survivors lost their energy once again, sinking into the incomprehensibility of it all.

"I, like, feel used," concluded Catty. "Like everybody's gonna think this is what we cats do all day. I haven't sung and danced since high school, y'know."

"Oh BP, I'm so sorry..." a second blue hand brushed his furry cheek.

"Like, you two should sue!"

The three others looked at Bratty. "Huh?"

"Well, I heard something about King Asgore talking to humans about monster representation, and, like, if this movie's gonna embarrass all the cat monsters, that should be a test case!"

"Can you do that?" asked the bunny. "I don't recall any mention of stuff like that in the treaty he signed."

"Come to think of it," said Burgerpants, picking up steam again, "my boss has a lawyer. Very razor sharp on trademarks and defamation. Surely he'll take the case! I mean if he doesn't, what happens when, I dunno, a concept album ostensibly about robots but more about societal backlash to new trends of musical culture comes out? We have to nip this in the bud right now or we'll be at the mercy of human fads."

"Totally! Bratty girl, you are the bestest BFF a kitty can hope for!"

"Yeah, thanks buddy," said Burgerpants, tussling the bunny's ears. "C'mon Catty, we got a writ to write!"

"Omigosh, so dramatic!"

The two cats pushed their way past their friends and out of the restaurant on their quixotic adventure. Bratty and the Bunny looked at each other. Then the untouched food.

"Like, you gonna eat that burger?"

"Not if you pass me that pasta."

"Deal!"

**Author's Note:**

> Original Suggestion: Burgerpants takes Catty to the movie "Cats" based solely on the name
> 
> [The soccer one, if you're curious.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beautiful_Game_\(musical\))
> 
> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
